How to Make Friends as a Man in Australia
Social sport, parkrun, Men's Sheds and one-on-one plans: where Australian men make friends, and how to turn an acquaintance into a mate.
The most reliable way to make friends as a man is to do something regularly, alongside the same group of men, and then turn one of those people into a mate with a small invitation outside the activity. A weekly game, a run club, a Men's Shed or a fishing trip does most of the work. Talking comes later, and it comes more easily when your hands are busy.
This guide covers why it gets harder for men after school and uni, where Australian men actually find friends, and exactly how to move from "the bloke from footy" to someone you'd call.
Is it harder for men to make friends?
Men and women report similar levels of loneliness and isolation overall. Ending Loneliness Together's State of the Nation 2026 survey found 19% of men and 19% of women were both lonely and socially isolated. A further 24% of men were socially isolated without feeling lonely, compared with 22% of women.
Where men stand out is in who they can talk to. In the ABS General Social Survey 2025, 87% of men had family or friends outside their home they could confide in, compared with 92% of women. That leaves roughly one in eight men without family or friends outside their home to confide in. A 2023 Healthy Male survey of 1,282 Australian men found 43% were lonely, with high loneliness most common among men aged 35 to 49.
Most men don't lose friends in a dramatic falling out. They drift. School ends, uni ends, a job changes, a relationship takes over the weekends, kids arrive, someone moves for work. Each step takes a few people out of your week, and nobody replaces them, because as adults nobody is handing us new people the way school did.
The other half of the problem is that many men wait. The mates you had at 20 came built in. At 35, someone has to go first, and most of us assume the other guy already has enough friends.
Why "side by side" works for men
There is a long-standing idea in friendship research, going back to psychologist Paul Wright's work in the early 1980s, that men's friendships tend to form side by side through shared activity, while women's more often form face to face through conversation. Later research suggests the difference is smaller than the stereotype. A 2011 analysis of 36 studies found men and women value shared activities about equally, while women place more weight on intimate talk.
So treat it as a useful pattern rather than a rule. For a lot of men, doing something together is simply the easier way in.
In practice, start with something to do together rather than "let's catch up for a chat": a game, a project, a hike, a fishing spot, a garage full of tools. The conversation happens in the gaps, and nobody has to fill an awkward silence across a table.
Where Australian men actually make friends
Social sport
Social leagues for indoor soccer, touch footy, cricket, basketball and volleyball run in most suburbs, and many let you sign up as an individual and get placed on a team. A season gives you the same faces every week, a shared win or loss to talk about, and the pub or a feed afterwards. If you're out of practice, look for "social" or "mixed" grades rather than competition grades.
Running and parkrun
parkrun is a free, timed 5 km held every Saturday morning in hundreds of parks across Australia. You can walk it. The coffee afterwards is where people talk, and volunteering gives you a reason to start a conversation. A local run club works the same way, usually with a coffee stop built in.
Men's Sheds
There are more than 1,300 Men's and Community Sheds across Australia, according to the Australian Men's Shed Association. The Victorian Government says more than 360 operate in Victoria alone. The AMSA shed finder shows your nearest. Sheds are community workshops where men build, fix and make things together, often with a cuppa and a yarn. They are no longer just for retirees: many sheds welcome younger men, and some run evening or weekend sessions.
Fishing, the gym and other one-on-one interests
Some interests suit two or three people better than a team: fishing, golf, the gym, cycling, camping, a regular games night. Finding one person who does what you do, at the time you do it, often turns into a friendship faster than a group does. See our guides to finding a fishing buddy, a sports partner and board game buddies.
Volunteering
CFA brigades, SES units, surf lifesaving, coaching a junior team, a Landcare working bee. You get a role and a crew, and you see the same people every shift.
Dad friends
If you have kids, the other dads at swimming, Saturday sport or school pick-up are the easiest people to meet and the hardest to actually get to know, because the conversation never gets past the weather. Suggest a coffee while the kids are at training, or a dads' barbecue at the park. Our guide to making parent friends has more ideas.
How to go from acquaintance to mate
Turning up is the first half. The second half is the step most men skip: asking someone to do something outside the usual setting.
- Keep showing up. Go to the same thing at the same time for a month. People need to see you a few times before they relax.
- Learn names and use them. Remembering that Dave's back from a trip or Raj's daughter just started school is how you become more than a face.
- Extend the activity. "Want to grab a beer after?" or "Few of us are getting a feed after the game" is a small, normal step.
- Make a one-on-one plan. "I'm heading out for a fish Saturday morning, want to come?" A specific plan with a time is easy to say yes to.
- Repeat it. One good afternoon isn't a friendship yet. Research by Jeffrey Hall at the University of Kansas estimated it takes about 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend and around 90 hours to become friends, and that time spent working together counts for less than time spent hanging out. A regular weekly plan gets you there without anyone having to think about it.
If you're not sure what to say, our guide to asking someone to hang out as friends has texts you can copy.
What gets in the way
- "I don't want to seem weird." Asking another man to go fishing or play a round of golf isn't weird. Most men are pleased to be asked, and many are hoping someone will.
- "I'm too busy." Combine it with something you already do: train with someone instead of alone, take the kids to the park with another dad.
- "I don't drink." Plenty of the options above happen in the morning or have nothing to do with the pub. Lead with breakfast, coffee or an activity.
- "I'm not good at small talk." Pick an activity that gives you something to talk about. Then ask questions and listen. That covers most of it.
When it's more than wanting a few more mates
Loneliness that drags on can wear you down. If you're feeling flat, stuck or like there's no one to talk to, these services are free, confidential and open 24 hours:
- MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78
- Lifeline: 13 11 14
- Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
In an emergency, call 000.
Where Bunchups fits
Bunchups is a free app for one-on-one and small group catch-ups with people nearby who share an interest. You post what you want to do, say a Saturday fish, a hit of tennis or a games night, and people near you can ask to join. Everyone on it is there to meet people in person. Profiles are selfie-verified, and it isn't a dating app.
Activity is strongest in Melbourne and Geelong right now. If nothing near you fits, post your own plan. Plenty of blokes are waiting for someone else to suggest it.
Frequently asked questions
How do men in their 30s and 40s make new friends?
Usually through a regular activity: social sport, a run club, a Men's Shed, volunteering or kids' sport. The friendship forms when one person suggests doing something together outside that setting. For more general advice by age, see making friends in your 30s and 40s.
Is male loneliness getting worse in Australia?
Not clearly. Long-running HILDA survey data reviewed by Healthy Male shows between 14% and 20% of Australian men aged 15 and over were lonely in any given year from 2001 to 2021. Loneliness has risen among younger people and fallen among older Australians. A 2024 study of more than 12,000 men in the same survey linked loneliness to relationship breakdown, social isolation and long-term disability, while frequent social contact was protective.
Is it weird for a guy to ask another guy to hang out?
No. Keep it specific and activity-based, like "Want to come for a fish Saturday?" or "Keen for a hit of golf next week?". It reads as a normal invitation, and most men are glad to be asked.
Where can I meet other guys if I don't like sport or drinking?
Men's Sheds, volunteering, board game nights, hiking groups, photography or car clubs, and short courses all bring men together around a shared interest, with no sport or alcohol needed.
